Fine Dining and Food Fighting
by LadyStellaSkye
Summary: I can see the baked goods were not the only things to get hot'n heavy!" Natalia and Ryan have a li'l fun wth food. Ryalia, HipHuggers and a wee bit of H/Y. And fluff! Can't forget the fluff! We should make a pie of fluff...hm. That'd taste awful.


Fine Dining and Food Fighting

"All of it?!" Natalia gaped.

"I'm afraid so." Ryan shook his head, looking at the exceedingly long list with her. "Why do _we_ have to make everything?"

"Because you're the newbies, and every year the newbs have to make everything for the MDPD picnic. It's tradition." Stettler smirked.

"What makes you think we wouldn't poison your food?" Natalia dead panned with dangerous eyes.

"I'm the one who passes on your pay checks." Stettler glared back.

Ryan saw Natalia's form bristle, like how a cat's fur would foof when it was ready to attack. Her eyes were dark with rage and quite a few profanities were about to leap off her tongue. "Easy, Natalia..."

"Fine, we'll make the damn food." She huffed, aiming her heel just right so it came down on Rick's toe. Hard.

"Yeow!" He shouted, jumping back and holding his toe. Many a lab rat stopped and stared at him. "Boa Vista, I should-"

"We're already cooking your damn food, now leave us alone." Ryan said quietly but threateningly, standing in between Rick and Natalia protectively. He poked him in the chest and glared at him.

"Get your hands off me Wolfe." Stettler ordered.

Natalia looked up ever so slightly at Ryan with wide eyes. She'd never seen him so protective before. She found it cute, sexy, and lovable all at the same time. "Come on, Ryan, we have important things to do."

"More important than him?" Ryan joked sarcastically, turning from glaring at Stettler to smile at her immediately.

"Yeah, like spit on the sidewalk." She laughed, taking his arm.

"That's a federal offense!" Stettler shouted after them.

"So is being ugly in public!"

"Where did you get that ugly in public bit?" Natalia asked, shaking her head.

"I don't really know, but I was always taught to tell the truth." He winked, flashing his pearly whites. His smile only grew as she turned her head, hoping he wouldn't notice her blush. "You're blushing."

"What?! No, it's the heat!" She protested as her cheeks only got hotter. "Midsummer in Miami? Come on Ryan, blushing? Yeah, right."

"Just admit it, Natalia." Ryan shook his head.

"Let's see, we've got potato salad, cold chicken, hot chicken..." Natalia began to list, changing the subject.

"Greek potatoes, salads, every kind of sandwich known to the human race, and...this list is three pages long." Ryan frowned.

"Then I guess we better start cooking." Natalia sighed.

"We? What makes you think I can cook?" Ryan asked with wide and worried eyes.

"So far, I guess nothing, but you can help, and I am not going to cook all of this stuff by myself." She said pointedly, walking toward the locker room with him hot on her heels.

"I guess we'll be doing it at your place." Ryan said to himself absently, putting his hands in his pockets. He then realized how it sounded. "Oh! I mean-uh-I-"

"Don't worry, about it, it's fine." Natalia dismissed with a wave, feeling a bright blush come to her cheeks again. "Besides, you're coming grocery shopping with me first. There's enough food here to feed an army and thus, even more ingredients than calories."

"I hate grocery shopping." Ryan groaned.

"Why?"

"My mom made me sit in the kid seat until I was nine."

"Three cartons of eggs, four liters of milk, six chickens-"

"Six chickens?" Ryan scrunched up his face.

"These people like their poultry." She mumbled, pushing the cart along gently.

"What should I get?" He asked.

"You can get the graham crackers, for the cheesecake crust and the fruit for the fruit salad to start." She said to him absently. He walked barely a few inches behind her and she could feel his warmth. The way they were walking through the store, her pushing the cart with her purse in it, him walking behind her somewhat reluctantly; it reminded her of when she was married. The happy times, at least.

"Alright, I'm on it..."

"Sir, we need you to get down, off the shelf!" A store worker with a megaphone shouted.

"If I had a choice, don't you think I would have by now?!" Ryan shouted back from his place atop the extremely high shelf. Why did they even make shelves that high? In any case; he'd been reaching for the crackers when he'd spied a ladder there for such a handy-dandy use. He'd gone up and grabbed them and was about to get down when the breaks on it had snapped. It began to roll down the isle, Ryan still standing on top, and came to a stop only when it hit another isle head on, sending poor Wolfe flying an isle and a half away. He'd landed on a pile of toilet paper packages on the top shelf, which brought him here.

"Ryan?" A familiar voice called. "What are you doing?"

"Hey Natalia! Got the graham crackers!" He waved happily.

"What are you doing up there?" She called.

"It's a long story involving toilet paper and faulty Japanese ladder parts, now can someone help me down from here...?" Ryan twisted his mouth like a muppet and held his hands out to show his predicament.

"Okay, just hold on, Ryan. Hold on." Natalia called from the ground worriedly. "Well?"

"Well, what?" The employee asked her.

"Well-help him down!" She snapped, her waves bouncing ever so slightly. "Now!"

"Yes, ma'am." He jumped.

"Now do you see why I hate grocery shopping?"

"That was an ordeal." Ryan grumbled, setting the bags down on the hardwood floors and following her into the kitchen.

"Well, it was certainly entertaining to watch you try to get on that ladder and-"

"Fall on my ass afterward?" Ryan asked flatly, seeing Natalia doubled over with her hand covering her mouth. "Are you laughing?"

"N-no, no, of coarse not. I j-just, I'm just...oh, I am laughing at you. I'm sorry. I-I..." Natalia turned away from him to hide her soft chortles again. She waved her heated face and caught her breath.

"Are you okay?" Ryan frowned.

"I'm fine, sorry, it's just...watching you try to get to the ladder but instead fall right off the shelf reminded me of the time I was a kid and my dad was getting our cat out of the tree in our yard." She said.

"What happened?"

"He fell and killed the cat by landing on it, also cracking his tail bone." She said plainly with an innocent smile.

"Oh, that poor cat." Ryan cringed. Her father was not a huge man, but the man was slightly round and he did have three grown daughters...

"Come on, let's start with the cheesecake. That needs to chill for a good four hours. In the meantime, you can start boiling the pasta." She directed, starting to unpack the six boxes of omega-3 noodles.

"Okay, but I should warn you, I'm not such a good cook." Ryan said as he put the water on.

"You can't be that bad, Ryan." She lamented.

"Oh, but I am." He smirked, wagging his finger at her. "You see, my mother wanted me to learn to cook as a kid, so one night she left me to make supper alone. I was only six, and the closest thing I did to cook was watch the popcorn pop in our new microwave. In any case, she left me on my own to make supper for the three of us, but it didn't turn out so well. I decided to make hotdogs. They were simple, tasty, and I'd watched my mom do it for my brother and I all the time. So I put the pot on the stove, started to boil the water, but then I got bored so I decided I'd play while waiting for the water to boil."

"Oh god, Ryan, you-"

"This..." He lifted up his t-shirt to show her a nasty burn that covered most of his left ribs. It wasn't all that visible anymore but it still looked pretty bad. "Is from me going to put the hotdogs in...all at once. I dumped them all in, thinking that even if the water splashed, it'd just be like when I was in the bathtub, messy but harmless. Well, my mom hasn't let me near a stove since."

"Oh Ryan." Natalia went to touch it before realizing _exactly_ what she was doing; touching Ryan's nicely muscled torso while he lifted up his shirt. She kept her hand back with only a little disappointment.

"That was the first time I was ever in the emergency room." He pondered aloud. "I think that's when she became kind of, well, doting."

"Doting as in...?"

"A little over the top, but hey, she's my mom." He smiled.

"Oh, you are a sweetie deep down, aren't you?" She smiled back.

"Yeah, but don't tell anybody." He whispered playfully.

"Don't worry, I wouldn't want anyone thinking you were a nice guy." She played back. "I'll keep you secret."

"Ooh, I've got secrets, don't tell anyone." Ryan waved.

"Come on, secrets-boy, I'll make the pasta, you start the cheesecake."

It took them a good long while, but they managed to make everything in record time. From the sandwiches to the strawberry shortcake; it was all good and ready. They'd cooked and mixed and joked all day and through most of the night, but they were done...

"Oh my god!" Natalia gasped, collapsing on her couch.

"Tired?" Asked Ryan.

"I'm exhausted!" She exclaimed.

"Yeah, me too, and it's late." He mumbled, looking at his watch.

"Why don't you just stay here for the night? It's way too late for you to go back to your place, and we have to get up soon to go to the picnic anyway, plus you also drove here with me." She pointed out.

"Well, then I guess I don't really have a choice in the matter, do I?" He smiled, looking over at the sleepy Natalia. Her golden auburn hair was falling out of the curls and her honeycomb eyes were droopy. She really was beautiful, and he knew it. Of coarse, so did the rest of the male world...the female too, for that matter. He loved her.

"Not really." She yawned. "Mm...excuse me."

"You just get some sleep." He smiled, going over to her, but too late; her eyes were closed peacefully. A small smile graced her lips. He got on the other end after kissing her hair. "Good night, Natalia."

"Night, Ryan." She mumbled in half-sleep. "Thanks for the help."

"Of coarse, now go to sleep." He said firmly but with a smile.

"Kay..." She whispered before drifting off again.

Ryan was about to doze off himself when he felt Natalia shift on her end of the couch, unable to get comfy. He was contemplating whether or not to take into her room, but before he could decide she'd crawled over to his end and laid down on him comfortably. She wrapped her arms around him and settled herself. "Tali? You awake?"

Nothing.

Ryan simply put his hand on her back and let himself sleep.

"WAKEY-WAKEY!!"

"Gah!" Ryan was the first to be shocked awake, followed by Natalia. He tightened his grip on her as his limbs flew up and every-which-way. Her head shot up suddenly, clipping his chin. "Ow!"

"Sorry!" Natalia bit her lip as she realized 1) She'd slept with Ryan Wolfe, and 2) She'd also hit him on the chin by accident.

"I'm good." He mumbled, blinking himself awake.

"Oh...good." She blinked. She wanted to kiss him. She _really_ wanted to kiss him. But...well...Eric and Calleigh were there...with a...megaphone.

"Good morning to you two lovebirds! I can see the baked goods were not the only things to get hot'n heavy!" Calleigh giggled, holding the megaphone and shimmied her hips a bit in mock of their position.

"What?!" Natalia rolled off of Ryan only to land on the floor with a thud while Ryan jumped a mile off the couch and gaped at her.

"Well, we did find you two sleeping together on the couch." Calleigh rolled her eyes at her friends as she turned to Eric, who smiled.

"I gotta admit, Wolfe, I didn't think you had the balls to ask her out, but I guess you finally got the nerve, huh?" Eric chuckled.

"This isn't what it looks like!" Both Natalia and Ryan protested.

"Just get ready. The picnic starts at twelve and it's ten thirty."

"So, what was all this?" Calleigh asked Natalia as she watched the older woman look for earrings while sitting on her bed.

"I was nothing, Calleigh. Ryan and I had to cook the food for the picnic and we both just fell asleep on the couch." Natalia repeated.

"Like that?" Calleigh's eyes widened.

"No, I don't know how we got like that but..." Natalia turned to Calleigh and bit her lip. "I can't say I didn't enjoy it."

"Oh Nat, just ask him out. He likes you." The southern belle said in her soft, almost whispering voice, happy and quiet like normal.

"I don't know, Calleigh, I just don't think he likes me that way." She blustered.

"If I weren't confident in him liking you, I wouldn't do this..." Calleigh smiled evilly, showing her pearly teeth and quirking a brow.

"Calleigh...whatever you're about to do, I strongly suggest-"

Calleigh got off Natalia's bed and bolted for the door before she could react. She swung the door open, turned on the megaphone and shouted into it. "RYAN WOLFE AND NATALIA BOA VISTA LIKE EACH OTH-!!"

Ryan and Eric stared with blank expressions as Calleigh was dragged back into the room by the tan arms of an angry brunette. Calleigh's finely manicured nails dug into the wood before finally letting go when the door was slammed shut. "Well, that was odd."

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!" Natalia shouted into the megaphone, Calleigh's poor ears on the receiving end.

"That was my hearing, which is now gone." She muttered.

"Calleigh..." Natalia warned the younger woman.

"What? Someone had to say it eventually, so I figure why not...spice it up a little." Calleigh said softly and innocently, smiling and shrugging her shoulders. She looked up at her friend with wide eyes.

"Calleigh, spicing it up a little is when you put extra peppers in the chili, announcing to the world that two of your best friends are in love is just...gah!!" Natalia blurted, moving her hands as if to strangle Cal.

"I never said you were in love." She teased.

"Argh!"

"What do you think that was?" Ryan asked rhetorically.

"I think that was someone speaking the truth, finally." Eric chuckled at his friend. "You and Natalia."

"What about us?" Ryan frowned.

"Come on, Wolfe, you're not everyone's as blind as you are. I bet even she knows you like her." The Cuban man laughed.

"Come on, man, Natalia? Like me?" Ryan squinted.

"I think she does." Eric nodded, though Ryan was still skeptical. "Just give love a try. I did...and I'm never going back."

"You asked Calleigh yet?"

"Not yet."

"You have the ring, though, right?"

"Yeah."

The picnic was buzzing with excitement. All the groups had their mats laid out haphazardly, close enough to chat but far away enough to designate with whom they were with. The sun was shining brightly as normal for Miami but the breeze was weak enough not to unsettle the paper plates yet cool enough to keep everyone comfortable.

"Looks like everyone's here." Calleigh said, holding her hand over her eyes to see all of MDPD on the lawn spread. "Geez there's a lot of us."

"Yeah...hey! There's H and Yelina and Ray Jr." Ryan pointed.

Horatio was sitting in his blue shirt and pants beside Yelina in her white sun dress while Ray Jr. was making kissing noises behind them, making them both look away from each other with blushes forming.

"I guess they're enjoying themselves." Calleigh laughed.

"Come on, let's go find a spot." Eric patted her shoulder as the four of them went up a hill to rest under a large tree. "This is nice."

"Shady. We'll need that later this afternoon." Calleigh agreed.

"You guys set up, we gotta get the food from the hummers and set it up for Sir-Stick-up-his-ass." Natalia smiled, waving to them.

"Where do they come up with those lines?" Calleigh smiled, shaking her head.

"I dunno, but I'm gonna write that down." Eric said. Calleigh laughed lightly, thinking he was kidding...but...no...he wasn't.

"Did you bring that with you?" She asked.

"Yup. I also brought a roll of duct-tape, just in case we see Berkley." He chuckled. "Calleigh? Tell me what you think of this line."

_Will you marry me?_

"Oh my god...Eric?" She looked at Eric, who was beaming. "Oh my god-OF COARSE!!!!"

Eric picked the petite bond up and swung her around, kissing her sweetly. "Calleigh, baby, you just made me the happiest man in the world."

"Well...let's jut see if Ryan can top you when Natalia asks him out."

"Trust me, no one can top me, right now...bu I guess he could get pretty damn close."

"Can I just have your attention for a second?" Stettler called.

"I don't think they want to listen." Both Ryan and Natalia muttered when it seemed that, not only did people not want to listen to him, but some actually gave him the finger! Can't blame them though...

"Hey!" He shouted. "Listen up!"

"What?!" Frank yelled angrily, standing up. "Unless this is urgent let us enjoy ourselves for once and eat our damn meals in peace!"

"I just wanted to get a round of applause for our CSIs Wolfe and Boa Vista, who cooked all this good and kept up the tradition!"

Everyone remained silent for a moment or two.

"Yeah, Ryan and Natalia! Whoo!" Calleigh cheered.

Applause and cheers erupted with the Southern hospitality Calleigh displayed and cheered for Ryan and Natalia. Yay-s and whoohoo-s came from the parked herd of police officers.

"Well then, I have an announcement as well." Said Natalia.

"What's that?" Stettler blinked.

"I made this pie just for you, Stettler." She said sweetly, turning around to pick it up delicately.

"Now that's more like it, Boa Vista." He smirked.

"Oh, you shouldn't be thanking her." Ryan chuckled.

Splat!

The cream splattered all over him; on his suit, his face, in his hair, etc. As Natalia let it slide down and off his face he wiped the remainder from his eyes and glared at her. "What the hell was that?!"

"Lemon meringue." She replied innocently.

"Wasted on you." Ryan grumbled. "I was going to eat that."

"We have more." She replied.

"Stop flirting and get me a damn towel!" Stettler barked.

"You know what? I've had just about enough of you!" Ryan picked up a plate of salad and threw it at him.

"Wolfe!"

"Everyone throw food at Stettler!" They shouted before running away to be cleared of fire.

And so the festival of flying edibles began.

It was a magnificent battle, being won with sub-sandwiches and juice rather than shields and javelins. Soda, not swords. Horseradish, not horses. Jello, not generals. Applesauce, not armies. Food.

The term food fight is a literal term, and literal this was.

Food flew everywhere as people bombarded Stettler with handful after handful of their meal, which they felt was not at all wasted, but rather well earned. Horatio stood-or rather, sat-by with Yelina laughing into his shoulder. Mr and soon-to-be-Mrs. Delko were pointing and laughing under their shady li'l tree, while Ryan and Natalia were standing at the bottom of the hill, watching the beautiful thing they'd inspired.

"That's gotta hurt, getting soda in your eyes." Ryan mused.

"I'm sure it does, but he deserves it." She shrugged.

"I guess we should cook more often." He smiled at her.

"I guess we should." She responded coyly.

"Get him! Aim for the eyes! Come on!" Calleigh shouted angrily from their blanket, sounding like an extreme sports fan.

"I guess we're not the only ones that think so." Natalia laughed, tucking her hair behind her right ear. "You wanna come over for dinner tonight? I promise no food will be thrown."

"Sounds good, but I dunno, I like the idea of you covered in food I could lick off of you." He murmured in her ear as he grabbed her waist and she threw her head back to laugh.

"Well, I'll have to see how I feel after dessert."

"And what would that consist of?"

"A sweet and hearty helping of your lips on mine." She barely managed to say before he kissed her just as she'd suggested. "Like that."

"I could go for some more of that." He nodded, smiling at her and taking in her blushing beauty.

"Well, I expect a much healthier portion tonight."


End file.
